Tonight I spoke at small group. I'm really not every comfortable speaking in a group setting so it was a but streching which was good. I think it went ok I tried to turn it into more of a discussion which worked well because people were pretty responsive. All in all a good night. We had small group here as well which was really good because I didn't have to go out into the cold! and I got to be the host which never happens. I spoke on distraction which is a pretty big topic. Just talking about the things that distract us from God and how we can deal with them and give more of our time to God. Distraction is something that everyone struggles with and everyone had different ways that they deal with distraction so I think everyone learnt a bit from each other. Also gave us a chance to open up to each other which doesn't normal happen with the whole group, we normal split up into guys and gals.

It's a good job today was my day off too because I woke up in agony! Yesterday every muscle in my arms and shoulders was seriously hurting! Today it was even worse! I literally couldn't get out of bed for ages! Hopefully they'll be alright tomorrow!

I want this phone to have my babies!!! :(

Well tonight I went on my first trip with the mountaineering Club. We went to an indoor climbing wall somewhere an hour out of Middlesbrough (I forget where) and it was really good. I wasn't expecting to find it quite such hard work but man it was. My fingers and knees ache now from it all every time I did a climb it took at least 10 minutes to recover! That's just down to my lack of fitness though. I used to climb a lot with my dad when I was younger I don't know why or when I stopped but I wish I hadn't because tonight was great and I'll defiantly be going back next week.

(defiantly not me climbing)

Vladstudio Wallpapers

I love this website, the wallpapers on there are brilliant! One to suit almost every mood and feeling. I've been using it for years so I thought I would share it with you. If your looking for somewhere to get good original backgrounds then give it a look. I just changed mine, I seem to be changing them with the weather. A few weeks back it was raining loads so I went with a rainy pic, now it's getting cold I've gone for a cold look.

And no the guy that makes these isn't paying me, just take a look. I've had a pretty good day today, church was very holy sprity again which I love. Had a great chat with my mate Jo on the way back from lunch at the pub. It's just good to know that I'm not the only one that struggles with girls and that I'm not the only one that's trying to just give it all to God. Not a dig at anyone who is dating or engaged, bless you guys :)

"Look at the lengths men will go to find the golden-haired woman. They have fought duels over her beauty; they have fought wars. You see, every man remembers Eve. We are haunted by her. And somehow we believe that if we could find her, get her back, then we'd also recover with her our own lost masculinity."

Wild at Heart, John Eldredge

I read this the other night and thought. Yeah. Women. Man how many times have I fallen for someone thinking that I had found "The One" or "The answer to all my problems". It's bullshit. It can't keep happening. But it does. Why can't I just be content with having friends that are girls? When I'm not interested in anyone then I feel like I'm missing something. I feel the need to have a woman in my life to think about and worry about. I guess that's healthy for a guy but I'm tired of getting hurt I guess. Give it to God and let him take care of it I guess.

Anyway. I've had a pretty good few days, Friday night went to a prayer meeting for a churches together thing that's happening around here. I was actually really encouraged. One thing that really annoys me about the churches in England is that they all have something against each other. I don't know why Catholics, Church of England and all the rest of them don't like each other. I don't really care. It all seems a bit petty and childish to me. It's time to let all that stuff go because if all the churches in the UK would just work together then we would see God move a lot more. Anyway, this meeting I was at I was really encouraged. There was about 300 people there for about 15-20 different churches in Middlesbrough and they really seem to be having a go at working together. We've got a event being planned for 2007 in the Riverside stadium and these meetings are just about praying for the event, the area, each other and each others churches. I think it's awesome. Unity in the church is something that I'm really passionate about so it's great to see stuff like this.

Finally. Today was Matt Maudes stag do. It was really cool. He kind of knew that something was going on but didn't know what. He got a bit of a shock this morning when he saw us all standing at the end of his road. We took him off to Newcastle and played laser quest for a couple of hours, then came back to Middlesbrough and had some dinner whilst watching a movie. Laser quest was defiantly the highlight of the day. I haven't played since I was like 12. Running around in the dark shooting people and crashing into walls. It was expensive though I'm fairly sure it's doubled in price since I last played and by the looks of it the equipment and scenery hasn't been updated or had any work done to it since the place was built (which was probably about 10 years ago). It was a good laugh though. Matt is an awesome guy, I'm so blessed to have him here with me. God must of done that for a reason because the chances of us both being at the same University are pretty low.

Anyway I've said enough! More than enough!

This is the stadium where that event will be held in 2007! Pray that God will fill it to overflowing!

Just a quick post today to say Happy Birthday to FFS the clan is 1 year old today! There doing really well top of division 4 in the wireplay league I've been watching there matches since they started out and know most of them pretty well. So well done guys maybe next year you'll be top of division 3 :D

Here's a picture from one of there games a few weeks back against mm. I believe mm got owned.

"For after years of living in a cage, a lion no longer even believes it is a lion... and a man no longer believes he is a man."

John Eldredge - Wild at Heart

I guess this sums up how I feel at the moment I read this book and something inside me just cries out to be wild. I remember when I used to go to the woods and climb trees, explore, have stick fights, build camps, swing on rope swings, burn things, jump over streams and the list goes on. I guess I just grew up and society tells us that were too old for playing in the woods, we should do something useful with our time. We put ourselves in a cage and then later wonder why we feel so depressed, like were going nowhere and so unsure of ourselves. I need Adventure and Risk! I can't keep sitting here wasting my time and regretting it when the day is over. What have I achieved today? I went to the prayer meeting this morning and sure it was good, a great start but that really is all I've done the rest of the day was just a waste of time.

God has been revealing a lot of stuff to me recently and it's all pretty deep stuff that I need to do but why can't I do it? I play computer games because I'm lonely here and there is no one around. What else is there to do though? How do I fill the gap in my life that gaming will leave? What will I do? I know the answer to these questions is God. Spend time with him and let him fill that hole in my life... but that's a lot of time to spend with God I'm sure the more time the better but... Man I dunno.

I want to make this work God, I can't keep going backwards... Help me get it right God or at least help me do it better.

Wild times in Canada.

This weekend has been awesome! Had Marie-Claire round since Friday evening and we had soo much fun. Friday night we went out to play pool with everyone one from CU and that was great somehow made it to the semi-finals of the tournament. Then Saturday spent the day in town and both of us brought new shoes. Saturday eve went to see Wallace and Gromit - Curse of the Were-Rabbit which I defiantly recommend. After that we went to see a gig at the union we saw The Columbos who are a band we have to design a website for as one of my projects this year, they were pretty good I thought, surfer type music was pretty cool. Then today we went to church and then out for lunch with everyone in the CU. Its been so nice having company all the time because I realise now that I spend a lot of my time on my own kinda a bit lonely now :(.

Also took a bit of a big step today and quit World of Warcraft (or am in the process of quitting) so I won't be playing it at all anymore. Sounds silly but it will be hard for me, I've been playing since last January now and have a lot of friends that play so I'll miss spending time with them but it's something I know I have to do. God has been calling me to give it up for a long time and I just haven't had the guts to do it but last night that kind changed I couldn't sleep for hours. The reason for that is because I'm reading Wild at Heart again it just stirs something in my heart when I read about it and I know I the things it's talking about. The main principle of the book is that men need 3 things and if they don't have them then something inside of them dies. An Adventure to live. Battle to fight. A Beauty to rescue. So I'm trying to get rid of some of the distraction in my life to make room for that stuff.

Another big bit of news is that I'm stepping down as co-leader of FM (FM is our gaming clan) I wasn't really doing much in it anyway anymore Watchout has been running it all pretty much. So to let someone else have a chance (someone that actually wants to be more involved) I'm just gonna step down to being a member. This will hopefully give me even more free time to do the things that I want to do because playing computer games all day everyday is fun but I need to let go of that stuff and make room for God!

I just and to say big thanks to all the guys that I've played with this past year it's been great getting to know you and I had a lot of fun. I'm not going anywhere I'll still be around on IRC, TS and on the forums but you won't see me so much in game. No disrespect to any of you either gaming is great but I need to spend more time IRL.

Here's a bit of a silly pic of me and Marie-Claire from our Prom way back in 2002 - wow how old am I!